[fanfic] Decayed, pt.6 [Code Geass]
Mar. 5th, 2011 06:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rex_sunTitle: Decayed
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Code Geass
Character(s): Lelouch-centric. Euphemia, Kallen. Mild Lelouch+Suzaku.
Summary: (Kinkmeme request.) Suzaku dies in Shinjuku, and Lelouch sets off on a different path: one that is destined to decay with time.
Status: Part six, ongoing, incomplete. Unedited.
The battle doesn't last very long. Zero doesn't even have to return to the battleground. The transport drops Zero, Ougi, and Euphemia at base, where everyone is ready, willing, and savage at their stations. Euphemia stands to the side, looking distressed, but the battle ends barely ten minutes later with the retreat of the Brittanians.
"I suppose they're going to discuss their next actions with another member of royalty," Euphy pipes up at some point. "Because they've been sworn not to lift a hand against me, of course."
"Of course," Zero agrees, but he isn't much paying attention to what he's saying. C.C. has entered the room and he can feel her super intense gaze upon him. Almost everyone else, though, is staring at Euphemia. Inoue's stare is positively acidic.
Ougi steps up, sensing the pooling venom and Euphemia's mounting nervousness, and says, "Inoue-san, will you please have her settled with a uniform and a bunk?"
An idea comes to Zero. "Have her roomed with Kallen." He feels a little uneasy ordering such after the conversation they had in addition to the uneasy, nearly suspicious air she’d had about her back at the meeting area. Still, Kallen is the Captain of the Zero Squad. He has to put his trust in her-- put Euphemia’s life in her hands. Otherwise, it is very probable that a Japanese, in an expression of rage, would kill his defenseless little sister in her sleep.
Inoue nods, her orders overcoming the immense dislike she feels for a factor of her personal oppression. She curtly orders Euphemia to follow her and the princess, unused to following orders at all, blushes hotly but follows.
Lelouch takes a breather afterwards in his own quarters in order to remove the mask which, combined with the pain in his eye, had become restricting as never before. As soon as the free air hits his eye, though, he gasps at the sudden upsurge of pain and falls to his knees.
C.C. enters in after him, mouth a thin line. She kneels next to him and tries gently to move his hand from where it is clutching and obscuring his face.
“Something is wrong,” Lelouch hisses. C.C. doesn’t immediately respond, but rather succeeds in revealing his eye. She pushes back his sweat-heavy hair and stares into his Geass.
“It’s reached that stage,” she says eventually.
“What?”
“Geass progresses this way from the time it initially is planted within a person. At first you have control of it, and it manifests in one eye. Then you become unable to control or hide it within that eye. Then it spreads into your other eye,” she explains slowly. Unconsciously, one of her fingers strokes the side of his heated face.
“So,” he begins to confirm, “I have no control over my Geass now? So anything I say to a person, face to face, is taken as an order?”
C.C. nods, simply and decisively.
“So,” he continues, with a growing sickness in the pit of his stomach, “I used Geass... on Euphemia?”
“You tell me,” she says, unsympathetic. “I wasn’t there. Were you looking her in the eye?”
Lelouch does not return to the operations center for quite some time. He is too busy pacing his room, thinking, agonizing over the fact that he more than likely used his Geass on Euphemia to abandon her home, her people, and her safety. But then his mind turns to the words she said to Ougi in the transport. (“I don‘t want to fight Zero.” / “I want to be with my family.” ) Two separate reasons, and Lelouch can’t possibly fathom whether either or neither came from her own heart.
When finally Zero does return to the flurry of commands and victory celebrations, it is to see that Kallen and some of the others have returned.
“Zero,” Kallen says, and Zero is put at ease, if only marginally, by the return of her ever-underlying anger. “May I speak with you?”
“Yes,” Zero says, unable to deny Kallen for some strange reason.
They find an emptied room in the Japanese-style inn portion that acts as the cover for the rest of the JLF’s, now the Black Knight’s, base. The lights are off and the room is cold so high up on the mountain. As he grew up a Brittanian, Zero finds no comfort in the minimalism of the room. He finds himself almost longing for the clutter of sofas and chairs and cushions and rugs that existed in his childhood home, the Aires Villa.
Maybe he longs for comfort because Kallen is aiming her gun at him.
“Who are you?” she whispers, because to be any louder in this room that has seen no guests, only soldiers, would be akin to sacrilege. Or, at least, that’s the way it feels.
“I thought you didn’t care about my identity on the basis that my ability was enough for you and the rest of the Black Knights, Kallen,” he says after a short silence that rings in his ears.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought, too, Lelouch.”
And that is the second time today that a woman has looked at Zero’s mask and correctly guessed the name of the man who wears it.
“You’ve mistaken me, Kallen. That is not my name--”
“Don’t bullshit me!”
Tears are gathering in her eyes, but she valiantly blinks them back. Then she takes a deep breath and lower the gun a single inch. Aims at his churning gut rather than his heart.
“One week ago, Zero left base at night for unstated reasons. The night he returns, before I speak with him privately, I get a call on my cellphone. It’s Shirley.”
Zero doesn’t say a single word as Kallen takes several gulps of air.
“Shirley said that after her father’s funeral, a car pulled up beside her. Inside were Princess Euphemia and her Knight. The Knight handed Shirley a photo of Lelouch Lamperouge and informed her that Lelouch might, in some way, be connected to the Black Knights.
“As it turns out, Lelouch had been on a trip when this occurred. A trip near Narita. He was held up there and couldn’t return home. He returned home one week ago. The same time that Zero left Narita. Shirley wasn’t at school when he was, but Rivalz called her and said Lelouch was back. Shirley came to school the day after next-- only to find Lelouch wasn’t in class, as he had been the day before. So, worried, the student council went as a group, all together, to visit Lelouch’s home.
“He wasn’t there. His room had been cleaned out. The student council called and checked, and Nunally, Lelouch’s little sister, wasn’t in middle school, either. Her room was also cleaned out. Their maid, Sayoko, was nowhere to be found.”
Kallen pauses to breath again, white-faced and furious, her hand shaking slightly on the grip of her gun.
“The very next day after the student council searched for Lelouch, Zero returns to Narita.”
She only grows more furious while Zero stands there, unmoving and unresponsive.
“No more bullshit!” she yells. “I was suspicious the moment I met you! Somehow you managed to convince me otherwise-- I don’t know how --but if you think I’m an idiot, you’re wrong! ...Damn you, say something! Or do I have to shoot you in the legs to get you to talk, you traitor!”
“Don’t you dare,” a cool, harsh voice interrupts. Both Kallen and Zero start at the sudden intrusion: C.C. has slipped in as silent as a cat. She doesn’t hesitate one bit as she moves to stand between Kallen’s gun and Zero’s body. “I won’t let you lay a finger on him.”
Kallen is temporarily rendered speechless before her temper flares once again. “This has nothing to do with Zero’s worthless little mistress!”
C.C. levels a nasty, bone-chilling glare at Kallen. “It’s been a while since anyone dared to speak to me so rudely. Child, just know this: I will kill you without hesitation before I allow you to kill him. He and I have a contract together.”
Kallen looks about to snap, about to shoot, when Zero finally gives in and removes the mask. C.C. glances back at him but doesn’t turn her back to Kallen; it is needless, as Kallen is now crying, the gun pointed more towards the ground. Her legs look weak.
“You guessed right, Kallen. I am Zero. The man who leads the Black Knights, who challenges the Holy Brittanian Empire. The one who holds the future of Japan in his hand.”
She stares at him like a little lost doe. It’s becoming somewhat tiresome, he has to admit. Her voice quivers as she says, “You’re using us? The Japanese people? You’re using me?”
“I will lead Japan to freedom.”
The flame leaps up within her again. “How so? By allying the Black Knights with that pretty little puppet, Euphemia! You--”
“We are not allying ourselves with Euphemia. Euphemia is allying herself with us.”
“Lies!” she spits. “Euphemia knows who you are! She’s looking for Lelouch, and she found him! You two are up to something!”
“Untrue,” Lelouch says, doing his best to keep a calm, even tone. He can’t see C.C.’s face. “She does know who I am, she did find me, but we aren’t doing anything subversive. She has an honest desire to be with her family. She wants to be with Cornelia, that’s all, she knows she won‘t get Cornelia back otherwise.”
“She knows you,” Kallen insists.
“She used my name to get me to talk to her. It was leverage to speak to me face to face.”
“How can I believe anything you say!” she screams.
“Have faith in me, Kallen,” he says lowly, soothingly.
“Why do you fight for Japan?”
C.C. looks back at him again, because Kallen is beginning to calm. Lelouch nods to C.C. and the woman steps out of the way. Lelouch keeps his head tilted forward, trying to cover the red of his eye, but isn’t too afraid; he’s used his Geass on Kallen before, anyway.
“I told you, didn’t I? I had a friend who was killed in front of me.”
“Because of that--” she starts, but he interrupts.
“Besides that, Kallen, it isn’t so much that I fight for Japan as I fight against Brittania.”
“Explain yourself.”
He takes a deep breath and says,
“Didn’t you ever wonder? Why my little sister is in a wheelchair?”
And he ends up telling her the whole thing, the whole dreadful story of who he is and where he comes from and what he hates and why. Because she is his personal guard, and she deserves to know who she’s guarding; because Euphemia is now her responsibility, and she deserves to know why; because she has a gun and Lelouch can’t use Geass on her; because she is, despite what she says, incredibly invested in Zero and his ability to work miracles for her people; because she is close to Ougi and she can destroy Lelouch rather quickly; because Lelouch has put his life in her hands before and it turned out alright.
And also, he can practically hear C.C. think, because he is lonely. Perhaps he needs someone to understand, now that Milly isn’t here (knew he was a prince) and Suzaku is dead (knew he hates Brittania) and Nunally is hidden (knew how to remind him of his ultimate goal). Funnily enough, though, as he leads Kallen to the low table where they sit formally and talk civilly, he doesn’t feel like he is telling C.C. anything. She isn’t reacting, at least, as if she knows already, and Lelouch has learned not to question her too much but especially not in front of another person.
Lelouch stops just short of telling Kallen about Geass, thinking it will undoubtedly sour the calm relationship he is rebuilding with her. Luckily she seems to full of information that she does not question Shinjuku or any other incident in which Geass played a key role.
In the end, she cries and tells him about her brother, and her mother, and her father and his horrible new wife. And then she pledges her life to Zero. Not to Lelouch, but to Zero. And that is enough for him.
In the night, Lelouch can hardly step out of the bathroom, he vomits so much. He is absolutely miserable, and C.C. takes pity on him for once and rubs his back in slow circles. For a while, he is unable even to stand, he is shaking so hard and empty inside.
In sleep, he is plagued once more by visions of Suzaku. It’d been a while because Lelouch’s head was so full up of rebellion and crisis management. He doesn’t know why, then, he is having dreams of Suzaku again, because his situation hasn’t much changed. But there Suzaku is, dressed in the gray uniform of a lowly Brittanian soldier, leaning against the tree where cicada shells cling. His friend closes his eyes against the bright sunlight. Lelouch walks forward, because he is taller, to shield him. They are very, very close when Suzaku opens his (lovely) green eyes and looks up at Lelouch.
“I missed you,” he says.
Somehow, Lelouch knows he is dreaming, and so says to Suzaku, “You can’t have. For all you know, this is how you were born, here outside this patch of sunflowers, and for all you know, I never left.”
Suzaku grins. “I don’t think I’d mind that too much. To be born in a sunflower patch. And you always here.”
Lelouch smiles back, pleased. Even though this is just a dream, it feels good to make Suzaku happy like this. Suzaku places his hands on Lelouch’s shoulders and the dream-sensation sends a thrill through Lelouch’s dream-body. Suzaku’s hands seem incredibly warm. And because it is a dream, it is very easy for Lelouch to place his own hands on Suzaku’s shoulders and look his friend in his gentle, boyish, healthy face, both of them smiling. Then he leans forward, heart pounding but not unhappy, and their arms slip around each other. His lips feel heavy as he angles his head to rest them against Suzaku’s.
In the morning, he wakes crying. The tears have fallen strangely over his inclined face, so he tastes the salt on his lips and feels one fat drop clinging to the edge of his ear. He still feels warm and happy for all of one minute before realizing where he is. Then he rolls to the side of the bed and the vomit comes before he is able to make it to the bathroom.
Oddly enough, it is Euphemia who steps into his room, a tray of food curled under her good arm. Lelouch’s initial reaction is to bring the blankets up to cover his face, but then he realizes that it’s both childish and highly unnecessary.
“Good morning!” she says, and her voice is cheery but her face is quite concerned. She looks strange in the Black Knights’ uniform-- the one with the knee-length skirt, like Inoue wears, not that Lelouch can or wants to imagine her in the short shorts ala Kallen. But her bright, bubble-gum hair and pale ‘Brittanian rose’ skin is a stark contrast against the black and grey uniform. Her arm is in a new sling, a white one from the medical ward instead of her custom, fit-to-her-dress sling.
“Euphy, why are you...?” he says roughly, throat burning from last night and this morning. She maneuvers the tray on her own lap as she moves to sit beside him.
“A woman named C.C. came into my room, the one I share with Miss, er, I don’t know how to say her last name, I forget, ah, Kallen. Yes, well, C.C. informed Kallen and I that you had taken ill, so I came to see you. Actually, C.C. was going to bring this for you, but I said I would-- don’t worry! I didn’t say it around any of the other Black Knights, that would be suspicious! Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you were alright and see if you need help eating. Do you?”
She is already holding a fresh glass of water up, which he allows her to help him drink. It is awkward and embarrassing, with her straining her hand to tilt it right. The cold is soothing to his raw throat, though, and his limbs feel kind of weak, so he can’t complain. He grunts in her direction, a yes or maybe a thank you, and she immediately puts the glass down and sets out to spoon some rice porridge into his reluctantly open mouth.
His little sisters are real angels. It is a travesty that they were born to such a violent, mad family. Lelouch lets Euphemia feed him for a while before taking over. She fusses for a bit before relenting and then pleases herself by watching him down a salty omelet and by chatting. He is silent through her blathering, but he can tell she does it because she is supremely uncomfortable. Her hair, even after one single day away from her royal stylists, is not the curling, perfect mass that it usually is. It is smoother, not really flat, the buns she wears behind her ears are gone, and the lot of it is stuffed into a loose, sloppy braid that can’t really contain her many feet of locks. She doesn’t look like she got a lot of sleep.
Lelouch takes another long draft of his water. “How is Kallen treating you?”
Euphemia looks down at her hand. “Last night? Positively hostile. I think she was angry at something, but I’m not sure what. But she... apologized to me this morning. She even helped me get dressed and she braided my hair.”
“I’m very glad for that,” Lelouch says honestly. He was worried that Kallen would rip her to shreds especially after learning that she was Lelouch‘s sister, but he knows anyone else would be just as bad, if not worse.
Speaking of the devil, Kallen knocks and then steps moments later into Lelouch’s quarters with his permission. She hesitates upon noticing Euphemia, but then sighs and comes closer to the bed. “Lelouch-- Zero-- er.” A blush lights up her face, but she scowls it away. “I brought you this.”
She shoves a bottle of pills into his hands and takes many hasty steps backwards.
“It’s for nausea,” she explains.
Lelouch nods and hopes she understands that he is thanking her. He downs the pills along with the last of his water. C.C. enters at exactly that moment, and the room starts to get cramped for space. C.C. looks extremely amused, however, and holds up Lelouch’s own cellphone.
“Your fiancee is on the line,” C.C. says passively.
“Fiancee!” Euphemia and Kallen exclaim at once.
“She’s very upset,” C.C. says by way of confirmation.
“Dear god, how many people are you going to tell that Zero is sick!” Lelouch groans.
Kaguya’s voice drifts from the speaker, “Is that him? Put him on! I want to talk to him!”
“Does Nunally know about this, Lelouch?” Euphy asks delicately.
“Who the hell would want to marry him?” Kallen asks incredulously.
Lelouch thinks, Hell is a cramped room that smells like vomit and is full of estrogen.
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Code Geass
Character(s): Lelouch-centric. Euphemia, Kallen. Mild Lelouch+Suzaku.
Summary: (Kinkmeme request.) Suzaku dies in Shinjuku, and Lelouch sets off on a different path: one that is destined to decay with time.
Status: Part six, ongoing, incomplete. Unedited.
The battle doesn't last very long. Zero doesn't even have to return to the battleground. The transport drops Zero, Ougi, and Euphemia at base, where everyone is ready, willing, and savage at their stations. Euphemia stands to the side, looking distressed, but the battle ends barely ten minutes later with the retreat of the Brittanians.
"I suppose they're going to discuss their next actions with another member of royalty," Euphy pipes up at some point. "Because they've been sworn not to lift a hand against me, of course."
"Of course," Zero agrees, but he isn't much paying attention to what he's saying. C.C. has entered the room and he can feel her super intense gaze upon him. Almost everyone else, though, is staring at Euphemia. Inoue's stare is positively acidic.
Ougi steps up, sensing the pooling venom and Euphemia's mounting nervousness, and says, "Inoue-san, will you please have her settled with a uniform and a bunk?"
An idea comes to Zero. "Have her roomed with Kallen." He feels a little uneasy ordering such after the conversation they had in addition to the uneasy, nearly suspicious air she’d had about her back at the meeting area. Still, Kallen is the Captain of the Zero Squad. He has to put his trust in her-- put Euphemia’s life in her hands. Otherwise, it is very probable that a Japanese, in an expression of rage, would kill his defenseless little sister in her sleep.
Inoue nods, her orders overcoming the immense dislike she feels for a factor of her personal oppression. She curtly orders Euphemia to follow her and the princess, unused to following orders at all, blushes hotly but follows.
Lelouch takes a breather afterwards in his own quarters in order to remove the mask which, combined with the pain in his eye, had become restricting as never before. As soon as the free air hits his eye, though, he gasps at the sudden upsurge of pain and falls to his knees.
C.C. enters in after him, mouth a thin line. She kneels next to him and tries gently to move his hand from where it is clutching and obscuring his face.
“Something is wrong,” Lelouch hisses. C.C. doesn’t immediately respond, but rather succeeds in revealing his eye. She pushes back his sweat-heavy hair and stares into his Geass.
“It’s reached that stage,” she says eventually.
“What?”
“Geass progresses this way from the time it initially is planted within a person. At first you have control of it, and it manifests in one eye. Then you become unable to control or hide it within that eye. Then it spreads into your other eye,” she explains slowly. Unconsciously, one of her fingers strokes the side of his heated face.
“So,” he begins to confirm, “I have no control over my Geass now? So anything I say to a person, face to face, is taken as an order?”
C.C. nods, simply and decisively.
“So,” he continues, with a growing sickness in the pit of his stomach, “I used Geass... on Euphemia?”
“You tell me,” she says, unsympathetic. “I wasn’t there. Were you looking her in the eye?”
Lelouch does not return to the operations center for quite some time. He is too busy pacing his room, thinking, agonizing over the fact that he more than likely used his Geass on Euphemia to abandon her home, her people, and her safety. But then his mind turns to the words she said to Ougi in the transport. (“I don‘t want to fight Zero.” / “I want to be with my family.” ) Two separate reasons, and Lelouch can’t possibly fathom whether either or neither came from her own heart.
When finally Zero does return to the flurry of commands and victory celebrations, it is to see that Kallen and some of the others have returned.
“Zero,” Kallen says, and Zero is put at ease, if only marginally, by the return of her ever-underlying anger. “May I speak with you?”
“Yes,” Zero says, unable to deny Kallen for some strange reason.
They find an emptied room in the Japanese-style inn portion that acts as the cover for the rest of the JLF’s, now the Black Knight’s, base. The lights are off and the room is cold so high up on the mountain. As he grew up a Brittanian, Zero finds no comfort in the minimalism of the room. He finds himself almost longing for the clutter of sofas and chairs and cushions and rugs that existed in his childhood home, the Aires Villa.
Maybe he longs for comfort because Kallen is aiming her gun at him.
“Who are you?” she whispers, because to be any louder in this room that has seen no guests, only soldiers, would be akin to sacrilege. Or, at least, that’s the way it feels.
“I thought you didn’t care about my identity on the basis that my ability was enough for you and the rest of the Black Knights, Kallen,” he says after a short silence that rings in his ears.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought, too, Lelouch.”
And that is the second time today that a woman has looked at Zero’s mask and correctly guessed the name of the man who wears it.
“You’ve mistaken me, Kallen. That is not my name--”
“Don’t bullshit me!”
Tears are gathering in her eyes, but she valiantly blinks them back. Then she takes a deep breath and lower the gun a single inch. Aims at his churning gut rather than his heart.
“One week ago, Zero left base at night for unstated reasons. The night he returns, before I speak with him privately, I get a call on my cellphone. It’s Shirley.”
Zero doesn’t say a single word as Kallen takes several gulps of air.
“Shirley said that after her father’s funeral, a car pulled up beside her. Inside were Princess Euphemia and her Knight. The Knight handed Shirley a photo of Lelouch Lamperouge and informed her that Lelouch might, in some way, be connected to the Black Knights.
“As it turns out, Lelouch had been on a trip when this occurred. A trip near Narita. He was held up there and couldn’t return home. He returned home one week ago. The same time that Zero left Narita. Shirley wasn’t at school when he was, but Rivalz called her and said Lelouch was back. Shirley came to school the day after next-- only to find Lelouch wasn’t in class, as he had been the day before. So, worried, the student council went as a group, all together, to visit Lelouch’s home.
“He wasn’t there. His room had been cleaned out. The student council called and checked, and Nunally, Lelouch’s little sister, wasn’t in middle school, either. Her room was also cleaned out. Their maid, Sayoko, was nowhere to be found.”
Kallen pauses to breath again, white-faced and furious, her hand shaking slightly on the grip of her gun.
“The very next day after the student council searched for Lelouch, Zero returns to Narita.”
She only grows more furious while Zero stands there, unmoving and unresponsive.
“No more bullshit!” she yells. “I was suspicious the moment I met you! Somehow you managed to convince me otherwise-- I don’t know how --but if you think I’m an idiot, you’re wrong! ...Damn you, say something! Or do I have to shoot you in the legs to get you to talk, you traitor!”
“Don’t you dare,” a cool, harsh voice interrupts. Both Kallen and Zero start at the sudden intrusion: C.C. has slipped in as silent as a cat. She doesn’t hesitate one bit as she moves to stand between Kallen’s gun and Zero’s body. “I won’t let you lay a finger on him.”
Kallen is temporarily rendered speechless before her temper flares once again. “This has nothing to do with Zero’s worthless little mistress!”
C.C. levels a nasty, bone-chilling glare at Kallen. “It’s been a while since anyone dared to speak to me so rudely. Child, just know this: I will kill you without hesitation before I allow you to kill him. He and I have a contract together.”
Kallen looks about to snap, about to shoot, when Zero finally gives in and removes the mask. C.C. glances back at him but doesn’t turn her back to Kallen; it is needless, as Kallen is now crying, the gun pointed more towards the ground. Her legs look weak.
“You guessed right, Kallen. I am Zero. The man who leads the Black Knights, who challenges the Holy Brittanian Empire. The one who holds the future of Japan in his hand.”
She stares at him like a little lost doe. It’s becoming somewhat tiresome, he has to admit. Her voice quivers as she says, “You’re using us? The Japanese people? You’re using me?”
“I will lead Japan to freedom.”
The flame leaps up within her again. “How so? By allying the Black Knights with that pretty little puppet, Euphemia! You--”
“We are not allying ourselves with Euphemia. Euphemia is allying herself with us.”
“Lies!” she spits. “Euphemia knows who you are! She’s looking for Lelouch, and she found him! You two are up to something!”
“Untrue,” Lelouch says, doing his best to keep a calm, even tone. He can’t see C.C.’s face. “She does know who I am, she did find me, but we aren’t doing anything subversive. She has an honest desire to be with her family. She wants to be with Cornelia, that’s all, she knows she won‘t get Cornelia back otherwise.”
“She knows you,” Kallen insists.
“She used my name to get me to talk to her. It was leverage to speak to me face to face.”
“How can I believe anything you say!” she screams.
“Have faith in me, Kallen,” he says lowly, soothingly.
“Why do you fight for Japan?”
C.C. looks back at him again, because Kallen is beginning to calm. Lelouch nods to C.C. and the woman steps out of the way. Lelouch keeps his head tilted forward, trying to cover the red of his eye, but isn’t too afraid; he’s used his Geass on Kallen before, anyway.
“I told you, didn’t I? I had a friend who was killed in front of me.”
“Because of that--” she starts, but he interrupts.
“Besides that, Kallen, it isn’t so much that I fight for Japan as I fight against Brittania.”
“Explain yourself.”
He takes a deep breath and says,
“Didn’t you ever wonder? Why my little sister is in a wheelchair?”
And he ends up telling her the whole thing, the whole dreadful story of who he is and where he comes from and what he hates and why. Because she is his personal guard, and she deserves to know who she’s guarding; because Euphemia is now her responsibility, and she deserves to know why; because she has a gun and Lelouch can’t use Geass on her; because she is, despite what she says, incredibly invested in Zero and his ability to work miracles for her people; because she is close to Ougi and she can destroy Lelouch rather quickly; because Lelouch has put his life in her hands before and it turned out alright.
And also, he can practically hear C.C. think, because he is lonely. Perhaps he needs someone to understand, now that Milly isn’t here (knew he was a prince) and Suzaku is dead (knew he hates Brittania) and Nunally is hidden (knew how to remind him of his ultimate goal). Funnily enough, though, as he leads Kallen to the low table where they sit formally and talk civilly, he doesn’t feel like he is telling C.C. anything. She isn’t reacting, at least, as if she knows already, and Lelouch has learned not to question her too much but especially not in front of another person.
Lelouch stops just short of telling Kallen about Geass, thinking it will undoubtedly sour the calm relationship he is rebuilding with her. Luckily she seems to full of information that she does not question Shinjuku or any other incident in which Geass played a key role.
In the end, she cries and tells him about her brother, and her mother, and her father and his horrible new wife. And then she pledges her life to Zero. Not to Lelouch, but to Zero. And that is enough for him.
In the night, Lelouch can hardly step out of the bathroom, he vomits so much. He is absolutely miserable, and C.C. takes pity on him for once and rubs his back in slow circles. For a while, he is unable even to stand, he is shaking so hard and empty inside.
In sleep, he is plagued once more by visions of Suzaku. It’d been a while because Lelouch’s head was so full up of rebellion and crisis management. He doesn’t know why, then, he is having dreams of Suzaku again, because his situation hasn’t much changed. But there Suzaku is, dressed in the gray uniform of a lowly Brittanian soldier, leaning against the tree where cicada shells cling. His friend closes his eyes against the bright sunlight. Lelouch walks forward, because he is taller, to shield him. They are very, very close when Suzaku opens his (lovely) green eyes and looks up at Lelouch.
“I missed you,” he says.
Somehow, Lelouch knows he is dreaming, and so says to Suzaku, “You can’t have. For all you know, this is how you were born, here outside this patch of sunflowers, and for all you know, I never left.”
Suzaku grins. “I don’t think I’d mind that too much. To be born in a sunflower patch. And you always here.”
Lelouch smiles back, pleased. Even though this is just a dream, it feels good to make Suzaku happy like this. Suzaku places his hands on Lelouch’s shoulders and the dream-sensation sends a thrill through Lelouch’s dream-body. Suzaku’s hands seem incredibly warm. And because it is a dream, it is very easy for Lelouch to place his own hands on Suzaku’s shoulders and look his friend in his gentle, boyish, healthy face, both of them smiling. Then he leans forward, heart pounding but not unhappy, and their arms slip around each other. His lips feel heavy as he angles his head to rest them against Suzaku’s.
In the morning, he wakes crying. The tears have fallen strangely over his inclined face, so he tastes the salt on his lips and feels one fat drop clinging to the edge of his ear. He still feels warm and happy for all of one minute before realizing where he is. Then he rolls to the side of the bed and the vomit comes before he is able to make it to the bathroom.
Oddly enough, it is Euphemia who steps into his room, a tray of food curled under her good arm. Lelouch’s initial reaction is to bring the blankets up to cover his face, but then he realizes that it’s both childish and highly unnecessary.
“Good morning!” she says, and her voice is cheery but her face is quite concerned. She looks strange in the Black Knights’ uniform-- the one with the knee-length skirt, like Inoue wears, not that Lelouch can or wants to imagine her in the short shorts ala Kallen. But her bright, bubble-gum hair and pale ‘Brittanian rose’ skin is a stark contrast against the black and grey uniform. Her arm is in a new sling, a white one from the medical ward instead of her custom, fit-to-her-dress sling.
“Euphy, why are you...?” he says roughly, throat burning from last night and this morning. She maneuvers the tray on her own lap as she moves to sit beside him.
“A woman named C.C. came into my room, the one I share with Miss, er, I don’t know how to say her last name, I forget, ah, Kallen. Yes, well, C.C. informed Kallen and I that you had taken ill, so I came to see you. Actually, C.C. was going to bring this for you, but I said I would-- don’t worry! I didn’t say it around any of the other Black Knights, that would be suspicious! Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you were alright and see if you need help eating. Do you?”
She is already holding a fresh glass of water up, which he allows her to help him drink. It is awkward and embarrassing, with her straining her hand to tilt it right. The cold is soothing to his raw throat, though, and his limbs feel kind of weak, so he can’t complain. He grunts in her direction, a yes or maybe a thank you, and she immediately puts the glass down and sets out to spoon some rice porridge into his reluctantly open mouth.
His little sisters are real angels. It is a travesty that they were born to such a violent, mad family. Lelouch lets Euphemia feed him for a while before taking over. She fusses for a bit before relenting and then pleases herself by watching him down a salty omelet and by chatting. He is silent through her blathering, but he can tell she does it because she is supremely uncomfortable. Her hair, even after one single day away from her royal stylists, is not the curling, perfect mass that it usually is. It is smoother, not really flat, the buns she wears behind her ears are gone, and the lot of it is stuffed into a loose, sloppy braid that can’t really contain her many feet of locks. She doesn’t look like she got a lot of sleep.
Lelouch takes another long draft of his water. “How is Kallen treating you?”
Euphemia looks down at her hand. “Last night? Positively hostile. I think she was angry at something, but I’m not sure what. But she... apologized to me this morning. She even helped me get dressed and she braided my hair.”
“I’m very glad for that,” Lelouch says honestly. He was worried that Kallen would rip her to shreds especially after learning that she was Lelouch‘s sister, but he knows anyone else would be just as bad, if not worse.
Speaking of the devil, Kallen knocks and then steps moments later into Lelouch’s quarters with his permission. She hesitates upon noticing Euphemia, but then sighs and comes closer to the bed. “Lelouch-- Zero-- er.” A blush lights up her face, but she scowls it away. “I brought you this.”
She shoves a bottle of pills into his hands and takes many hasty steps backwards.
“It’s for nausea,” she explains.
Lelouch nods and hopes she understands that he is thanking her. He downs the pills along with the last of his water. C.C. enters at exactly that moment, and the room starts to get cramped for space. C.C. looks extremely amused, however, and holds up Lelouch’s own cellphone.
“Your fiancee is on the line,” C.C. says passively.
“Fiancee!” Euphemia and Kallen exclaim at once.
“She’s very upset,” C.C. says by way of confirmation.
“Dear god, how many people are you going to tell that Zero is sick!” Lelouch groans.
Kaguya’s voice drifts from the speaker, “Is that him? Put him on! I want to talk to him!”
“Does Nunally know about this, Lelouch?” Euphy asks delicately.
“Who the hell would want to marry him?” Kallen asks incredulously.
Lelouch thinks, Hell is a cramped room that smells like vomit and is full of estrogen.
