So that's where the title comes from! I took it literally to mean, Lelouch/Suzaku are empty, but the thing about forgiveness at the end makes it kind of... uplifting, somehow. I admit I preferred your style best in the first three chapters. The content still remains wonderful, but I feel there's a lot more "telling" rather than "showing" later on, and that it just got a lot less subtle. I expected an ending in which Shirley lost her memory, and this definitely did not fail. Shirley was never one of my favorite characters but you just wrote her to a tee, and my sympathy as well as respect for her has dramatically increased since reading.
Hmm. Okay. One specific part I really liked and admire you for doing, is the way Shirley had most of the information but never fully connects the dots. I did think sometimes that the situation was made a little too obvious to her, but at least you didn't take the easy way out by explaining the contract in full. I also liked the role Kallen played, minor as it was, and your incorporation of the Geass in this alternate universe. And of course, the psyches of Suzaku and Lelouch are as tragic and complex as in canon, as is the fact that neither ever recovered fully.
OH YEAH and I /adored/ the hinted romance between Shirley and Suzaku and Lelouch. It was so bittersweet, especially since it was never acted on. And the slow, halting friendship Shirley builds up is actually what got to me the most; like someone else said above, her time and effort to know both of them has been now completely wiped from her mind, and this made me want to weep.
This line - "Lelouch, after all, is a very difficult person to say no to; he’s a whirlwind, a hurricane, full of energy and raw power and undeniable emotion."
In general, this impressed me so much. The plot is average and would not have been compelling if in the hands of a different author. You wrote it in such as skillful manner and portrayed each character in such depth that the less complex plot was the best backdrop possible for character insight and relationships. Your simple, clean style so fits with who Shirley is and her view of the world. So tl;dr superb execution.
Thank you so much for putting this up! HOPING FOR MORE CG FICS FROM YOU! :)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
carisma_sensei
no subject
Date: 2011-09-28 11:16 am (UTC)Hmm. Okay. One specific part I really liked and admire you for doing, is the way Shirley had most of the information but never fully connects the dots. I did think sometimes that the situation was made a little too obvious to her, but at least you didn't take the easy way out by explaining the contract in full. I also liked the role Kallen played, minor as it was, and your incorporation of the Geass in this alternate universe. And of course, the psyches of Suzaku and Lelouch are as tragic and complex as in canon, as is the fact that neither ever recovered fully.
OH YEAH and I /adored/ the hinted romance between Shirley and Suzaku and Lelouch. It was so bittersweet, especially since it was never acted on. And the slow, halting friendship Shirley builds up is actually what got to me the most; like someone else said above, her time and effort to know both of them has been now completely wiped from her mind, and this made me want to weep.
This line - "Lelouch, after all, is a very difficult person to say no to; he’s a whirlwind, a hurricane, full of energy and raw power and undeniable emotion."
In general, this impressed me so much. The plot is average and would not have been compelling if in the hands of a different author. You wrote it in such as skillful manner and portrayed each character in such depth that the less complex plot was the best backdrop possible for character insight and relationships. Your simple, clean style so fits with who Shirley is and her view of the world. So tl;dr superb execution.
Thank you so much for putting this up! HOPING FOR MORE CG FICS FROM YOU! :)