[fanfic] Decayed, pt.2 [Code Geass]
Mar. 2nd, 2011 04:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rex_sunTitle: Decayed
Rating: PG-13 (death and disturbing images)
Fandom: Code Geass
Character(s): Lelouch-centric. Suzaku, Kaguya.
Summary: (Kinkmeme request.) Suzaku dies in Shinjuku, and Lelouch sets off on a different path: one that is destined to decay with time.
Status: Part two, ongoing, incomplete. Unedited.
The news broadcasts that Viceroy Cornelia is cleaning out the Saitama ghetto, and Lelouch recognizes the setup for what it is immediately. He almost expects the moment when C.C. levels a gun at him. She, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to expect the gun he puts to his own head.
“Before I met you, I was dead,” he says, a slight smile on his face. He finds that he is not bothered at all by the thought of dying. “An impotent corpse living behind the guise of life, a life in which I did nothing real. Day to day, I merely went through the motions of living, as if I were a zombie, and I always had the feeling that I was gradually dying. If I am condemned to go back to that, then I’d rather...”
He begins to pull the trigger when she finally backs down. He still smiles at her, unfazed. He thinks of his mother, of Suzaku, one rotted and one, perhaps, still rotting, but he doesn’t know how long it takes, really. Death wouldn’t be so bad, he thinks, except then Nunally would be the one haunted by decay.
Zero fails utterly at Saitama, and Lelouch hates to be the one being saved by C.C. He belatedly admits that he should have called in Ougi and the others, but perhaps part of him was sure he could do it just as he had before. C.C. tells him he is arrogant as she flips her hair from Zero‘s collar.
He does not fail during the hotel jacking. This time, he calls Ougi and together they capture the attention of all of Area 11. Meeting Euphemia was... strange, to say the least, just as confronting Clovis had been nigh otherworldly. The Black Knights make their debut, and most of all, the admiration of even Brittanians. After all, Zero and his Black Knights single-handedly took care of the hotel jacking while the Brittanian military stood to the side, looking as fools.
The Black Knights’ popularity could only soar from there; they took on criminals and corruption and their numbers swelled furiously. Lelouch even managed to forget, from time to time, that the two people he had loved most in the world were murdered.
He doesn’t really know what makes him do it. He never told anyone about himself if he could help it, and so to say something to Kallen, of all people, completely defied his own reasoning. Still...
“Brittania killed a friend of mine.”
She whips her head to look at him. She suddenly looks contrite, biting her lip. The day isn’t so bad, and the mist wafting over from the nearby fountain feels nice on his skin. It feels nice, also, to sit here next to her in the sunshine. His stomach is settled.
“He was Japanese,” Lelouch continues, and Kallen’s eyes widen even more. “I lived here before the invasion. He was killed right in front of me.” He gives her a small smile, because that’s better than showing his true face to anyone. “I suppose... that’s why. I’m not really the type to sit by and watch Brittanians beat up Elevens.”
He doesn’t really know why he says it, or why he no longer wants to look her in the eye. Maybe-- and he mentally scoffs, because C.C. said some ridiculous thing similar to this a few days ago --maybe Lelouch is simply lonely. Hiding his face from the world, hiding his true feelings from his friends, and just plain hiding from Nunally.
But she lays her hand on his arm, and his muscles twitch but he doesn’t pull away.
“I understand,” she says.
He doesn’t believe her until after a few more days, until after he learns about her mother. Then, yes, he believes her when she claims that she understands what it is to lose.
Later, Zero knows that entrusting Kallen with the Guren Mk II is the best idea he’s ever had. He can’t contain his jubilation at capturing her at last, here in the mountains of Narita.
“You put up a valiant fight, Cornelia,” he announces over open channel. Her energy filler is depleted, her Knightmare unmoving. He can hear her growling and cursing. The fact remains that Narita was a complete and utter victory for the Black Knights. He orders Cornelia taken into custody, to which Ougi and Tamaki gladly comply. His older sister is stubborn, and they have to forcefully remove the hatch on her KMF before she is willing to come along.
“Q-1. You did excellently,” Zero transmits to the Guren. There is a long silence in which he hears her draw her breath shakily, before she says,
“Thank you! Zero, sir!”
Cornelia glares at him, eyes full of fire, but with her arms tied, it doesn’t matter much to Zero. Here in this cave, none of them can hear the ongoing battle outside as the Black Knights continue their campaign and, without their commander, Cornelia’s forces fall. C.C. stands somewhere to the left, a gun aimed at Cornelia.
“Zero, you bastard--” Cornelia begins to growl, but Zero removes his mask and she stops short, eyes widening in horror. “...you?”
Lelouch takes his sweet time, not feeling that he has to hurry, smiling slightly as he pulls down the cloth mask over his face and adjusting his gloves. The smell of wet decay hits his nose.
“I see,” Cornelia whispers. Her demeanor isn’t half as aggressive now. “So you were Zero the entire time. Dalton was right. He said it was someone with a grudge against the Brittanian Imperial family. You-- you did this for Nunally?”
“Correct,” Lelouch confirms. “I will demolish the current world and build a new and better one in its place.”
“You started this all for the sake of that madness?” Her face twists in some sort of agony he doesn’t bother trying to sympathize with. Right now, he wants answers, not to connect with his darling big sister. “You even killed Clovis?” she screams.
“Yes,” he confirms again, very calmly. “It was necessary. He’d seen my face, but that was before I could capture him. I couldn’t let him go free and run home to you and father, saying that Nunally and I were alive.”
It’s a disastrously weak excuse, and he knows it. He could have just used his Geass to silence Clovis. In fact, he could have done a lot of things. He could have shot Clovis in the heart, not the head, and then at least the family could have looked at his face one last time. But Lelouch supposes he was angry-- is still angry --a poisonous, gut churning, hideous rage that lashed out with cruelty. Because Clovis had a family and people that loved him and the best doctors and artists around. If Lelouch had shot him in the chest, had left his face intact, had let the family look upon him once more... he would have been beautiful. Stunning. A gorgeous corpse. They would have injected him full of chemicals, kept him in a cold place, wrapped him in his finest clothes. Did his hair, colored him with makeup, lined his coffin with the most expensive material man knew. He would have smelt nice. They would have put flowers on his pillow to frame his face.
And while Clovis would be held on high, paraded and fawned over and cried for, Suzaku would be in a bag. A bag labeled ‘11’ that didn’t keep out the smell of his rot. And Lelouch leaned forward, crouched down beside the first friend he had ever had, the only friend that knew Lelouch’s true self utterly, who had given his life protecting Lelouch, who had protected Lelouch and Nunally in the past--
He had opened the bag, and Suzaku had been rotting. Not much, not too much, the face was still recognizable... in a way. (It’s hard to recognize the dead face of someone you knew while alive. Something changes, something leaves. It had been Suzaku‘s body, but it hadn‘t been Suzaku.) But it had been very, very hot and humid out, and the bodies had decayed very, very quickly. His face had been blue, his hair lank. There had been the smallest of stains on the side of his neck. Removed of his armor, his uniform shirt had looked a little strained.
Lelouch had been unable to claim the body. They wouldn’t let him, since he was not family by blood or certificate. So Lelouch had had to leave him there.
And to think Lelouch could have spared Clovis’ face...
“Don’t speak to me of Clovis any further,” Lelouch hisses. (All his fault--) Cornelia is wincing, and she doesn’t quite look like the Goddess of the Battlefield right now, and Lelouch takes pleasure in this. “And I would not call it madness, sister, when compared to the current state of things. This current Brittanian world. You fight, and fight, and then what? The weak are cast aside. People like Nunally are cast aside. It’s a world lacking in morality, in common human decency--”
“Hah!” she spits, her eyes a little wild. “To hear that from Zero--!”
“It seems that talking to you any further would be utterly pointless,” he interrupts as she had. “Well then, my sister. Lelouch vi Brittania orders you to answer him!”
There is a small moment as the order takes place, and then her face goes slack and accepting. “Go on.”
Zero is in a bad, bad mood, especially considering they won the battle. He tries no to bring down the morale of the troops, and indeed, he is such a practiced liar that hardly anyone notices. It is only people like Ougi and Kallen that notice anything is wrong. When asked, C.C. curls a finger around her hair and looks off to the side and refuses to give a straightforward answer.
Zero stays with them quite a few days after that, which is rather strange in and of itself, as their masked leader usually does short business and leaves afterwards-- to only god knows where. But really, only a bad commander would leave at this point. The Black Knights secure the mountain as their own trophy of victory and helped dig out bodies from the wreckage. Under Zero’s direct order, the bodies are not to be desecrated. Anyone caught pillaging or damaging a corpse will be punished severely.
It is only a matter of time, Lelouch considers, before Brittania will retaliate. For now there is a truce so that bodies may be recovered, but Guilford, now temporary sub-viceroy under Euphemia, is still out there, circling like a mad hawk. Waiting to charge in and save his princess from the evil dragon, surely.
Lelouch calls home and fabricates some lie about getting caught near the mountains and something about the roads being torn up by the landslide and the military restricting movement. Nunally sounds so worried for him that it hurts. He thinks of Euphy and orders also that Cornelia be treated with as much dignity as an oppressed people can muster towards their oppressor.
Todoh and the four holy swords show up at the new base for Black Knight operations. Ougi toasts them at a victory dinner for the senior staff. Outside, many others celebrate as well. Zero sits back, present but not eating, and there are several jokes made his way, all of which he ignores.
Nevertheless, it lifts his spirit a bit, despite the fact that he is no closer now than he ever was to finding the truth of his mother’s murder.
One week later, there is a visitor. Just as Lelouch is preparing himself to sneak back home to his little sister, Ougi knocks and delivers the message. Lelouch snatches up his mask and greets the representative of Kyoto.
He is lead to a private room where she and her two bodyguards are. She sizes him up and down, smiling pleasantly, her lips glossy pink. She then dismisses her two bodyguards, with great protest on their part. When they are finally alone, she sits formally at the low table and begins to pour tea. Intrigued, Zero flares his cape and sits on the other side, legs crossed.
It takes him a while, but she leans over and puts the tea in front of him, and her eyes are green.
“Sumeragi Kaguya,” he says, in her native order. She glances up, delighted. Her cheeky nature has not changed even now-- serving Zero tea, honestly!
Zero stands, locks the doors, makes double sure that they are locked, and returns to his seat. She takes a sip of her tea.
“I’ve admired you for some time,” she begins. “Ever since the Black Knights made their debut. It really was something. The Six Houses of Kyoto really want to show their support for you in this troublesome time, but travel is difficult. It was very hard to make it here. Still, I’m glad I got to meet you; you see, I personally requested to come meet you.”
“You did?”
“Yes, you see, I want to take care of the Kyoto business, but I also want to ask for your hand in marriage.” She takes another sip of tea, looking very serene and straightforward and Japanese. Also, her eyes are pretty.
“I see,” he says, not without humor. “And why have you decided this?”
“Well, if you keep winning battles, you’ll eventually need a wife, won’t you? I mean, I know your identity’s a big secret and all, but you’re going to need someone as your public face, right?” she says with a wink.
Kaguya has a strange effect on Zero. He hasn’t felt so lighthearted since forcing the confession out of Cornelia, but now he is starting to smile beneath his masks.
“Really? You think I’m going to win the battles of the future?”
“Of course!” she exclaims, perfectly confident without seeming at all foolish. “Especially if you have me. I am the Goddess of Victory, after all.”
“Then I should be lucky to have you, Lady Kaguya.”
“Good.” A warm, gentle smile.
There’s something very attractive about this Japanese concept that love comes after marriage, if at all. It reminds Lelouch of realizing you love someone after he’s dead and just a ghost inside your head.
“Won’t you drink, my fiancee?” she jokes.
“Don’t mind if I do,” Zero says quietly as he removes his mask. Her face is priceless as he takes a heartening sip. Then she laughs, so loud it’s pretty much unladylike, but Lelouch kind of laughs with her, so that’s that.
Lelouch again dreams of Suzaku. Suzaku, Suzaku, is never far from his mind, no farther than his mother is. But there’s something a little different when he thinks of Suzaku, as opposed to when he thinks of his mother. Maybe it’s just a bit more special, because Lelouch was born to love his mother. On the other hand, Lelouch chose to love Suzaku.
Lelouch dreams of the day they became friends. He, Suzaku, and Nunally, all hiding in Suzaku’s secret base. Nunally pressed up into Suzaku, who smiles like crazy and sings songs and doesn’t mind reaching over her to grab a snack from an even more secret compartment. The two look cozy. Like brother and sister. Lelouch is fine with that, because Suzaku saved her.
Lelouch dreams of the rain making the earth run into mud. The water seeps into the plants and soon the smell of rot ruins his little fantasy. Ten year old Suzaku becomes seventeen year old Suzaku, curled around Nunally like mother had curled around her. And Suzaku is rotting, the smell so great, filling up the entire base, somehow stretched to accommodate his adult body. He is entirely marbled and stained, face swollen, fit to burst. A piece of his flesh peels off and plops onto Nunally’s cheek. She screams-- Lelouch screams--
Lelouch is screaming a little as he wakes up. C.C.’s arms are around him as she kisses his forehead. Lelouch leans into C.C.’s breast and does his best not to vomit on her.
(Suzaku, he thinks, chose to love Lelouch.)
“We have our contract,” C.C. says in the gentlest voice he’s ever gotten from her. “I won’t leave you.”
“You don’t ever die, C.C.?” he asks, face still buried in her neck and shoulders, the top of her chest.
“No, never,” she says knowingly.
“No rotting?”
“I never manage to rot.”
“It’s just... really something,” he chokes out as he finally leans back. Her arms slip away from his head to rest on his knees and she looks up at him with golden eyes free of judgment. “It’s silly. I didn’t even know him all that long. Maybe a couple of months and that’s it. Hell, half of that time, we hated each other.” He smiles briefly and bitterly. “But it was-- it was cruel. To meet him so suddenly, and to have to give him up just as suddenly.”
“So that’s what’s bothering you?”
“...yes. He was. Well. When he looked at me, down there in Shinjuku, there was such warmth in his eyes. That’s what drove me crazy. As in, how could he have looked like that? What was going through his head? What happened to him in the seven years we were apart? Because the Suzaku I remember wasn’t quite like that, I don’t remember a look like that on him at any time. The person I loved so much: I didn’t know anything about him. Why he joined the army or how he had fared or what he felt about me or anything.”
Lelouch reaches across her and gathers up the pocket watch sitting innocuously on the bedside table.
“What would he feel about what I’m doing? Suzaku was so brave, and there was a little bit of something angry there, or at least when I knew him there was. He had promised to help me become Emperor when we were kids. But what about now? Would Suzaku Kururugi stand by Zero’s side?”
“What do you think, boy?”
“...I really just don’t know. If I had never met Suzaku that day in Shinjuku, I would have said yes without a doubt. But the Suzaku who was a soldier with gentle eyes... I just can’t say.”
Rating: PG-13 (death and disturbing images)
Fandom: Code Geass
Character(s): Lelouch-centric. Suzaku, Kaguya.
Summary: (Kinkmeme request.) Suzaku dies in Shinjuku, and Lelouch sets off on a different path: one that is destined to decay with time.
Status: Part two, ongoing, incomplete. Unedited.
The news broadcasts that Viceroy Cornelia is cleaning out the Saitama ghetto, and Lelouch recognizes the setup for what it is immediately. He almost expects the moment when C.C. levels a gun at him. She, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to expect the gun he puts to his own head.
“Before I met you, I was dead,” he says, a slight smile on his face. He finds that he is not bothered at all by the thought of dying. “An impotent corpse living behind the guise of life, a life in which I did nothing real. Day to day, I merely went through the motions of living, as if I were a zombie, and I always had the feeling that I was gradually dying. If I am condemned to go back to that, then I’d rather...”
He begins to pull the trigger when she finally backs down. He still smiles at her, unfazed. He thinks of his mother, of Suzaku, one rotted and one, perhaps, still rotting, but he doesn’t know how long it takes, really. Death wouldn’t be so bad, he thinks, except then Nunally would be the one haunted by decay.
Zero fails utterly at Saitama, and Lelouch hates to be the one being saved by C.C. He belatedly admits that he should have called in Ougi and the others, but perhaps part of him was sure he could do it just as he had before. C.C. tells him he is arrogant as she flips her hair from Zero‘s collar.
He does not fail during the hotel jacking. This time, he calls Ougi and together they capture the attention of all of Area 11. Meeting Euphemia was... strange, to say the least, just as confronting Clovis had been nigh otherworldly. The Black Knights make their debut, and most of all, the admiration of even Brittanians. After all, Zero and his Black Knights single-handedly took care of the hotel jacking while the Brittanian military stood to the side, looking as fools.
The Black Knights’ popularity could only soar from there; they took on criminals and corruption and their numbers swelled furiously. Lelouch even managed to forget, from time to time, that the two people he had loved most in the world were murdered.
He doesn’t really know what makes him do it. He never told anyone about himself if he could help it, and so to say something to Kallen, of all people, completely defied his own reasoning. Still...
“Brittania killed a friend of mine.”
She whips her head to look at him. She suddenly looks contrite, biting her lip. The day isn’t so bad, and the mist wafting over from the nearby fountain feels nice on his skin. It feels nice, also, to sit here next to her in the sunshine. His stomach is settled.
“He was Japanese,” Lelouch continues, and Kallen’s eyes widen even more. “I lived here before the invasion. He was killed right in front of me.” He gives her a small smile, because that’s better than showing his true face to anyone. “I suppose... that’s why. I’m not really the type to sit by and watch Brittanians beat up Elevens.”
He doesn’t really know why he says it, or why he no longer wants to look her in the eye. Maybe-- and he mentally scoffs, because C.C. said some ridiculous thing similar to this a few days ago --maybe Lelouch is simply lonely. Hiding his face from the world, hiding his true feelings from his friends, and just plain hiding from Nunally.
But she lays her hand on his arm, and his muscles twitch but he doesn’t pull away.
“I understand,” she says.
He doesn’t believe her until after a few more days, until after he learns about her mother. Then, yes, he believes her when she claims that she understands what it is to lose.
Later, Zero knows that entrusting Kallen with the Guren Mk II is the best idea he’s ever had. He can’t contain his jubilation at capturing her at last, here in the mountains of Narita.
“You put up a valiant fight, Cornelia,” he announces over open channel. Her energy filler is depleted, her Knightmare unmoving. He can hear her growling and cursing. The fact remains that Narita was a complete and utter victory for the Black Knights. He orders Cornelia taken into custody, to which Ougi and Tamaki gladly comply. His older sister is stubborn, and they have to forcefully remove the hatch on her KMF before she is willing to come along.
“Q-1. You did excellently,” Zero transmits to the Guren. There is a long silence in which he hears her draw her breath shakily, before she says,
“Thank you! Zero, sir!”
Cornelia glares at him, eyes full of fire, but with her arms tied, it doesn’t matter much to Zero. Here in this cave, none of them can hear the ongoing battle outside as the Black Knights continue their campaign and, without their commander, Cornelia’s forces fall. C.C. stands somewhere to the left, a gun aimed at Cornelia.
“Zero, you bastard--” Cornelia begins to growl, but Zero removes his mask and she stops short, eyes widening in horror. “...you?”
Lelouch takes his sweet time, not feeling that he has to hurry, smiling slightly as he pulls down the cloth mask over his face and adjusting his gloves. The smell of wet decay hits his nose.
“I see,” Cornelia whispers. Her demeanor isn’t half as aggressive now. “So you were Zero the entire time. Dalton was right. He said it was someone with a grudge against the Brittanian Imperial family. You-- you did this for Nunally?”
“Correct,” Lelouch confirms. “I will demolish the current world and build a new and better one in its place.”
“You started this all for the sake of that madness?” Her face twists in some sort of agony he doesn’t bother trying to sympathize with. Right now, he wants answers, not to connect with his darling big sister. “You even killed Clovis?” she screams.
“Yes,” he confirms again, very calmly. “It was necessary. He’d seen my face, but that was before I could capture him. I couldn’t let him go free and run home to you and father, saying that Nunally and I were alive.”
It’s a disastrously weak excuse, and he knows it. He could have just used his Geass to silence Clovis. In fact, he could have done a lot of things. He could have shot Clovis in the heart, not the head, and then at least the family could have looked at his face one last time. But Lelouch supposes he was angry-- is still angry --a poisonous, gut churning, hideous rage that lashed out with cruelty. Because Clovis had a family and people that loved him and the best doctors and artists around. If Lelouch had shot him in the chest, had left his face intact, had let the family look upon him once more... he would have been beautiful. Stunning. A gorgeous corpse. They would have injected him full of chemicals, kept him in a cold place, wrapped him in his finest clothes. Did his hair, colored him with makeup, lined his coffin with the most expensive material man knew. He would have smelt nice. They would have put flowers on his pillow to frame his face.
And while Clovis would be held on high, paraded and fawned over and cried for, Suzaku would be in a bag. A bag labeled ‘11’ that didn’t keep out the smell of his rot. And Lelouch leaned forward, crouched down beside the first friend he had ever had, the only friend that knew Lelouch’s true self utterly, who had given his life protecting Lelouch, who had protected Lelouch and Nunally in the past--
He had opened the bag, and Suzaku had been rotting. Not much, not too much, the face was still recognizable... in a way. (It’s hard to recognize the dead face of someone you knew while alive. Something changes, something leaves. It had been Suzaku‘s body, but it hadn‘t been Suzaku.) But it had been very, very hot and humid out, and the bodies had decayed very, very quickly. His face had been blue, his hair lank. There had been the smallest of stains on the side of his neck. Removed of his armor, his uniform shirt had looked a little strained.
Lelouch had been unable to claim the body. They wouldn’t let him, since he was not family by blood or certificate. So Lelouch had had to leave him there.
And to think Lelouch could have spared Clovis’ face...
“Don’t speak to me of Clovis any further,” Lelouch hisses. (All his fault--) Cornelia is wincing, and she doesn’t quite look like the Goddess of the Battlefield right now, and Lelouch takes pleasure in this. “And I would not call it madness, sister, when compared to the current state of things. This current Brittanian world. You fight, and fight, and then what? The weak are cast aside. People like Nunally are cast aside. It’s a world lacking in morality, in common human decency--”
“Hah!” she spits, her eyes a little wild. “To hear that from Zero--!”
“It seems that talking to you any further would be utterly pointless,” he interrupts as she had. “Well then, my sister. Lelouch vi Brittania orders you to answer him!”
There is a small moment as the order takes place, and then her face goes slack and accepting. “Go on.”
Zero is in a bad, bad mood, especially considering they won the battle. He tries no to bring down the morale of the troops, and indeed, he is such a practiced liar that hardly anyone notices. It is only people like Ougi and Kallen that notice anything is wrong. When asked, C.C. curls a finger around her hair and looks off to the side and refuses to give a straightforward answer.
Zero stays with them quite a few days after that, which is rather strange in and of itself, as their masked leader usually does short business and leaves afterwards-- to only god knows where. But really, only a bad commander would leave at this point. The Black Knights secure the mountain as their own trophy of victory and helped dig out bodies from the wreckage. Under Zero’s direct order, the bodies are not to be desecrated. Anyone caught pillaging or damaging a corpse will be punished severely.
It is only a matter of time, Lelouch considers, before Brittania will retaliate. For now there is a truce so that bodies may be recovered, but Guilford, now temporary sub-viceroy under Euphemia, is still out there, circling like a mad hawk. Waiting to charge in and save his princess from the evil dragon, surely.
Lelouch calls home and fabricates some lie about getting caught near the mountains and something about the roads being torn up by the landslide and the military restricting movement. Nunally sounds so worried for him that it hurts. He thinks of Euphy and orders also that Cornelia be treated with as much dignity as an oppressed people can muster towards their oppressor.
Todoh and the four holy swords show up at the new base for Black Knight operations. Ougi toasts them at a victory dinner for the senior staff. Outside, many others celebrate as well. Zero sits back, present but not eating, and there are several jokes made his way, all of which he ignores.
Nevertheless, it lifts his spirit a bit, despite the fact that he is no closer now than he ever was to finding the truth of his mother’s murder.
One week later, there is a visitor. Just as Lelouch is preparing himself to sneak back home to his little sister, Ougi knocks and delivers the message. Lelouch snatches up his mask and greets the representative of Kyoto.
He is lead to a private room where she and her two bodyguards are. She sizes him up and down, smiling pleasantly, her lips glossy pink. She then dismisses her two bodyguards, with great protest on their part. When they are finally alone, she sits formally at the low table and begins to pour tea. Intrigued, Zero flares his cape and sits on the other side, legs crossed.
It takes him a while, but she leans over and puts the tea in front of him, and her eyes are green.
“Sumeragi Kaguya,” he says, in her native order. She glances up, delighted. Her cheeky nature has not changed even now-- serving Zero tea, honestly!
Zero stands, locks the doors, makes double sure that they are locked, and returns to his seat. She takes a sip of her tea.
“I’ve admired you for some time,” she begins. “Ever since the Black Knights made their debut. It really was something. The Six Houses of Kyoto really want to show their support for you in this troublesome time, but travel is difficult. It was very hard to make it here. Still, I’m glad I got to meet you; you see, I personally requested to come meet you.”
“You did?”
“Yes, you see, I want to take care of the Kyoto business, but I also want to ask for your hand in marriage.” She takes another sip of tea, looking very serene and straightforward and Japanese. Also, her eyes are pretty.
“I see,” he says, not without humor. “And why have you decided this?”
“Well, if you keep winning battles, you’ll eventually need a wife, won’t you? I mean, I know your identity’s a big secret and all, but you’re going to need someone as your public face, right?” she says with a wink.
Kaguya has a strange effect on Zero. He hasn’t felt so lighthearted since forcing the confession out of Cornelia, but now he is starting to smile beneath his masks.
“Really? You think I’m going to win the battles of the future?”
“Of course!” she exclaims, perfectly confident without seeming at all foolish. “Especially if you have me. I am the Goddess of Victory, after all.”
“Then I should be lucky to have you, Lady Kaguya.”
“Good.” A warm, gentle smile.
There’s something very attractive about this Japanese concept that love comes after marriage, if at all. It reminds Lelouch of realizing you love someone after he’s dead and just a ghost inside your head.
“Won’t you drink, my fiancee?” she jokes.
“Don’t mind if I do,” Zero says quietly as he removes his mask. Her face is priceless as he takes a heartening sip. Then she laughs, so loud it’s pretty much unladylike, but Lelouch kind of laughs with her, so that’s that.
Lelouch again dreams of Suzaku. Suzaku, Suzaku, is never far from his mind, no farther than his mother is. But there’s something a little different when he thinks of Suzaku, as opposed to when he thinks of his mother. Maybe it’s just a bit more special, because Lelouch was born to love his mother. On the other hand, Lelouch chose to love Suzaku.
Lelouch dreams of the day they became friends. He, Suzaku, and Nunally, all hiding in Suzaku’s secret base. Nunally pressed up into Suzaku, who smiles like crazy and sings songs and doesn’t mind reaching over her to grab a snack from an even more secret compartment. The two look cozy. Like brother and sister. Lelouch is fine with that, because Suzaku saved her.
Lelouch dreams of the rain making the earth run into mud. The water seeps into the plants and soon the smell of rot ruins his little fantasy. Ten year old Suzaku becomes seventeen year old Suzaku, curled around Nunally like mother had curled around her. And Suzaku is rotting, the smell so great, filling up the entire base, somehow stretched to accommodate his adult body. He is entirely marbled and stained, face swollen, fit to burst. A piece of his flesh peels off and plops onto Nunally’s cheek. She screams-- Lelouch screams--
Lelouch is screaming a little as he wakes up. C.C.’s arms are around him as she kisses his forehead. Lelouch leans into C.C.’s breast and does his best not to vomit on her.
(Suzaku, he thinks, chose to love Lelouch.)
“We have our contract,” C.C. says in the gentlest voice he’s ever gotten from her. “I won’t leave you.”
“You don’t ever die, C.C.?” he asks, face still buried in her neck and shoulders, the top of her chest.
“No, never,” she says knowingly.
“No rotting?”
“I never manage to rot.”
“It’s just... really something,” he chokes out as he finally leans back. Her arms slip away from his head to rest on his knees and she looks up at him with golden eyes free of judgment. “It’s silly. I didn’t even know him all that long. Maybe a couple of months and that’s it. Hell, half of that time, we hated each other.” He smiles briefly and bitterly. “But it was-- it was cruel. To meet him so suddenly, and to have to give him up just as suddenly.”
“So that’s what’s bothering you?”
“...yes. He was. Well. When he looked at me, down there in Shinjuku, there was such warmth in his eyes. That’s what drove me crazy. As in, how could he have looked like that? What was going through his head? What happened to him in the seven years we were apart? Because the Suzaku I remember wasn’t quite like that, I don’t remember a look like that on him at any time. The person I loved so much: I didn’t know anything about him. Why he joined the army or how he had fared or what he felt about me or anything.”
Lelouch reaches across her and gathers up the pocket watch sitting innocuously on the bedside table.
“What would he feel about what I’m doing? Suzaku was so brave, and there was a little bit of something angry there, or at least when I knew him there was. He had promised to help me become Emperor when we were kids. But what about now? Would Suzaku Kururugi stand by Zero’s side?”
“What do you think, boy?”
“...I really just don’t know. If I had never met Suzaku that day in Shinjuku, I would have said yes without a doubt. But the Suzaku who was a soldier with gentle eyes... I just can’t say.”
