[fanfic] Decayed, pt.9 [Code Geass]

[rex_sun]

Title: Decayed
Rating: R (rating jump for disturbing imagery)
Fandom:  Code Geass
Character(s):  Lelouch-centric. Mild Lelouch+Suzaku.
Summary:  (Kinkmeme request.) Suzaku dies in Shinjuku, and Lelouch sets off on a different path: one that is destined to decay with time.

Status:  Part nine, ongoing, incomplete. Unedited.



And most horrible: after all this, this preparation and planning and going through all the trouble of moving his family yet again-- Schneizel isn't coming, and neither is the emperor. As if nothing had happened in Area 11 at all, as if the whole world isn't churning and uprisings taking place globally.

The reason is only more baffling.

"Both the emperor and the second prince have gone missing," Diethard reports. Zero hesitates, and in that instant a thrill of tenseness runs through the assembled staff, so Zero coughs and asks for clarification. Diethard doesn't shrug, but he might as well have. "There isn't much more information than that. The emperor has been seen by no one for a some period of time. And it wasn't planned, there was a huge gag order placed over the entire ordeal, but of course these things can't be kept quiet. The prince disappeared three days ago as well."

“What about Bismarck, the emperor’s Knight? What of his forces?”

“Bismarck is also missing, Zero.” Diethard looks almost nervous to say it. The entire senior staff is exchanging glances around the table, all shifting uncomfortably. Ougi clears his throat, opens his mouth, and then appears to come to the conclusion that whatever he has to say won’t mean a thing, so he falls silent again. Zero’s hands are clenching and unclenching on the armrests.

“Odysseus? Guinevere?”

“All tied up in the EU conflict or in the new conflicts closer to Britannia.”

Someone else finally speaks up. Sugiyama says, “That is the worst time for the Britannian emperor to go missing!”

Tohdoh coughs. His eyes are closed and his arms are folded in his traditional meditative pose. “You’re wrong. This was the best time for the emperor to go missing.”

Ougi frowns. “Too easy! For what reason...”

“To save his own skin? Is he that afraid of our power?” Inoue poses.

“Impossible!” Asahina says, but his body language is apprehensive.

But all their speculation ends with an odd, high, and cold sound issuing from Zero’s helmet: it is Ougi who first realizes, followed by Diethard and Tohdoh, that for the first time in their memory, Zero is laughing.





“Zero, may I speak with you?”

Zero nods and leads Kallen into an empty room. Kallen secures the door, then tosses him a tense, nervous look. Zero removes his helmet and Lelouch raises his eyebrow in question.

“They know,” Kallen says, voice tight and low.

“They know...?”

Kallen huffs. “That Euphemia is missing! They aren’t stupid, you know.”

“Ah, no, they aren’t,” Lelouch admits, sitting in the nearest chair. He contemplates the area around his shoes with some dark malice. “Of course, I was wondering when...”

“It was suspicious from the beginning-- Zero meeting with the Britannian princess, then the princess betrays her people. Come on, they’ve always been watching her! They’ve known from the very moment she disappeared!”

“But you didn’t know the very moment that they knew,” Lelouch points out smugly, feeling a little nasty. Kallen flushes.

“They don’t tell you because they’re already looking for her,” Kallen hisses.

He had expected as much and tells Kallen so. But still, he is surprised to learn that it was Ougi’s idea to not report Euphemia’s disappearance to Zero.

“Don’t make me choose between Zero and Ougi,” Kallen whispers, and it is the closest to a plea he’s ever seen from her.

“Don’t worry, Kallen,” he reassures her with a hand on her shoulder. “He’s suspicious of me, but he still stands beside me. Ougi is a Black Knight. I will do my best to assuage the fears in this organization-- his, yours, and the fears of anyone else who doubts me.”

But the words seem insincere and hollow to him, even though she smiles brightly at him.





Nunally arrives quietly, hidden masterfully with the fanfare of the appearance of the heads of the Six Houses of Kyoto. Lelouch is able to steal precious moments with her, alone in Euphy’s room-- now Lelouch’s room, and C.C.’s room, but, Lelouch thinks, it may well be time to kick the witch out if he wants to keep Nunally safe.

C.C., though, is the one who comes to him and whispers where his ear should be, and he leaves his soldiers in their meetings with Kyoto without bothering to give an explanation.

He flings the door to the room open, and there Nunally sits, dappled in colorful light. His angel. He crosses the room, removes the mask, calls her name, and she is ready and stretching out for a mighty embrace--

...which he does not bestow. Instead he kneels before her, his dark cape trailing on the floor behind him. She frowns, upset, and retracts her arms back to her body, but he grabs one of her hands and then holds it gently in his glove. He presses his lips onto her warm, soft skin and lingers there, feeling the blood throb just underneath the surface.





Zero returns to the reception just in time to run straight into Ougi, who blushes and apologizes profusely. Zero waves it off and waits for Ougi to step aside, but that moment doesn’t come. Instead, Ougi is staring straight into his mask, still blushing but also looking completely bewildered. Zero then also realizes that the entire room behind him is quiet and looking.

“You know,” Ougi finally says, slowly and reluctantly, “you could have told us you were getting married.

Kaguya is sitting in the room, looking very proper as she lowers her eyes demurely to the folded hands in her lap, but the mischievous grin on her face cannot be hidden.

“Ah, yes,” Zero responds intelligently.





Zero didn’t quite expect the absolute brouhaha that his engagement stirs up, but perhaps he should have. Or at least realized that weddings in the Imperial Court would be vastly different from the weddings of commoners.

So no, he didn’t quite expect the obscene amount of alcohol sent to him, the good luck cards and the flowers. Kaguya informs him it is not particularly because they are Japanese or because they are ‘commoners’ --she giggles at that.

“After all,” Ougi laughs later, perhaps a little tipsy himself, “no one had any reason to believe you were married or weren’t married already, we had no clue. Now it turns out are esteemed leader, the man who gave us back Japan, is getting married. Of course people are excited!”

Chiba is much less hostile towards him than usual-- she’s even sort of friendly and feminine as she talks about wedding plans with Kaguya. “You’re not having a traditional wedding?” she asks, sounding surprised.

Kaguya politely shakes her head. “I’d like to, but it would be very impractical. I have to consider my fiancee’s needs in this. So, there will only be a few guests, and it will have to be closed. We tried to work out a reception, at least, but it seems that is not possible either. In any case, I have to wait one year. We decided to uphold the old laws that were in place before the Britannian invasion, so I should be sixteen first.”

Zero, sitting rigidly upright, thinks about marriage, about the crazy idea that Kaguya Sumeragi really will be Kaguya vi Britannia, a princess of Britannia in her own right. And she will be his and he hers, or they are supposed to be as such, until either of them dies. And is he supposed to take bed with her, he wonders with a blush that thankfully is not seen. So who the hell is going to sleep beside him now? C.C., who has slept beside him all this time, or Nunally, who he wanted hours earlier, or this girl, his future wife? And is it really such a big deal, he asks himself, because this arrangement of hardly knowing your own fiancee is not much different from the Imperial Court, but--

and he begins to hurt somewhere in his chest

--at a normal wedding, Euphemia would be present. He resolves grimly to find her, to save her from whatever trouble she is in or where ever she might have gone, to bring her back and repair things between them, so that both of his two beloved sisters will see him be married one year from now.

“Perhaps one day we can have a proper wedding?” Kaguya says softly, smiling up at Zero’s mask, the tenderness of the action hidden under the raucous celebrations.

“Perhaps one day,” Zero agrees verbally. But inside himself, he can’t see where that day would ever come.





Various people leave between the beginning of the party and midnight, and at some point only Zero, Kaguya, and Kirihara remain present. Lelouch finally removes his mask at their request. Kirihara spends his time laughing at the two children trying out adult things, or that’s how he phrases it as he passes them some alcohol and implores them to try another adult thing.

Lelouch takes a sip of the sake, and it tastes somewhat like the wine he's used to, but he doesn't feel up to drinking much. He tries not to think of other 'adult things'.

At some point he calls for Sayoko to bring in Nunally, and the nursemaid quickly transports her through the dark hallways. Lelouch lifts her from her chair and brings her down to their level around the low table. Nunally leans against his side for support. He wraps his arm around her and feels her living warmth against his side. Kirihara treats her pleasantly, almost like an adorable granddaughter, like he treats Kaguya sometimes.

"Well," Kirihara rumbles, face beginning to turn red. "This gathering is familiar."

Cottoning on to Kirihara's meaning immediately, Lelouch presses his lips together and tries not to tense, because Nunally would feel it.

Kaguya also understands, and she says wistfully, staring into her nearly untouched cup of sake, "Yes, but it is also different. After all, my uncle is dead and my cousin..."

Nunally lifts her head, pretty face wrinkling.

"I haven't spoken to him in years. Honestly, that boy... You know he joined the Britannian military?" Kaguya finished.

"Traitor," Kirihara grumbles. Lelouch only distantly registers the hypocrisy before Kirihara turns to him. "You remember the Kururugi."

"Of course I remember," Lelouch whispers. "I will never forget."

"Lelouch and Suzaku were friends," Kaguya supplies. Lelouch winces, unused to hearing Suzaku's name out loud.

"I didn't know," says Kirihara.

"Best friends," Lelouch forces out. "Before or since. I..."

Nunally's fingers find the underside of his wrist. She speaks up as he trails off.

"My brother and I loved Suzaku very much. The three of us survived together during the month of the invasion, after Genbu committed suicide."

Kirihara laughs, short, sharp and loud. "Suicide, sure!"

The room freezes over instantly. Nunally's fingers squeeze, Kaguya's face contorts in confusion, and Sayoko stops in middle of pouring sake for Kirihara. She gently sets the bottle down-- wisely, Lelouch thinks later.

"Kirihara-san?" Kaguya prompts, voice quiet. Lelouch glares suspiciously at Kirihara through the part in his curtain of bangs.

The old man points at Sayoko. "You will forget this conversation upon leaving." Sayoko glances at Lelouch before bowing in acquiescence. Kirihara's finger swings to point at Lelouch. "And the rest of you deserve to know, but you will never speak of this outside of this group of people."

"Spit it out, Kirihara," Lelouch growls.

The old man laughs again, that mean chuckle, and takes another sip of sake.

"Kururugi Genbu did not commit suicide. The man was not that honorable. Kururugi Genbu called for every Japanese person to fight the Britannians to the death. The children and the women and the old people, too. He said it would be better for every last one of us to die rather than give in. And for this belief, he was murdered."

The reaction is instant: both Kaguya and Nunally gasp in shock; Lelouch can't help the disbelieving "what?" that escapes him.

"What? But--"

"Because of this, the Japanese people were saved, and now we have Japan back. What a glorious assassin!"

Lelouch feels Nunally's hand twist into the fabric of Lelouch's cape. Whatever else Genbu was, he was Suzaku's father. And to lose a parent to political assassination... Feeling a sudden upsurge in affection and belonging to Suzaku's memory, Lelouch says, "Who? Who was the assassin?"

Kirihara doesn't even laugh this time.

"Kururugi Suzaku."





Outside the door to Kaguya's quarters some twenty minutes later, Kaguya looks up at Zero with eyes shimmering in the dim starlight. "When was the last time you ever saw Suzaku?"

Zero says, "I last saw him at Shinjuku, where I watched him die."

And with that he turns around and returns to Nunally, taking with him some horrible pleasure in seeing her look just as sick and lonely and scared as he feels.





He does his best to force down the bile, but he barely makes it to the toilet before it's pouring out, his entire body in total pain, spasming so hard that he jerks forward and smacks his forehead again and again on the porcelain back. His eyes stream, he feels it coming out of his nose, and it seems as if his throat will give way or his eyeballs will pop or maybe his arms will give out from under him, sending him head first down into the cesspool.

"Brother?" he hears being called from the main part of the bathroom. Sayoko is kneeling by his side, quick as lightening, pushing back his hair from his mouth and his cursed eye as he moans and sobs.

Even after he is utterly empty, still his stomach heaves. He doesn't settle down at all even as he crawls from the toilet closet and over to the shower stall. He feels like s slug, twisting and dragging himself across the unclean ground, leaving a trail of clear slime in his wake.

Even as he writhes in the stall, a pair of hands descends upon him-- C.C. this time, utterly dispassionate, stripping him bare so that he can look down and see his own pale stomach twisting and rippling. She turns the water on for him, getting a little wet herself. He cries under the warm stream, but eventually it calms him and his stomach finally settles.

Only then does he realize that he has a wary female audience, and that the Zero mask is face down on the wet floor. But he can't find enough of himself within the emptiness of his body in order to care.





C.C. strokes his forehead gently as Sayoko tucks Nunally into the other side of the bed. Lelouch lays on the very edge, a bucket beneath him and ready. The nausea medicine is left on the bedside table. The door at the far end of the room clicks shut like a coffin lid and plunges the room into all-encompassing darkness.

The silence there reigns for only a minute or two before, like a breeze more than a voice, he hears, “Brother?”

He turns to her and begins shuffling to the middle, hearing her do the same. They meet closer to her side, and he reaches down under the covers for her. His hand first touches her thigh, and he moves down, skimming the soft, thin cotton of her nightdress, to grasp her knees and pull her legs closer. She ducks into his neck and throws her arms around his chest, and he in turn hugs her by the waist and tangles his legs up with hers.

He breathes deeply and grits his teeth. Her legs are ice-cold, the blood having trouble flowing and warming that part of her. They don’t twitch against him, either, with the faint hum of life.

Like part of her is dead.





Lelouch is already expecting it, and so is not surprised to meet Suzaku in his dreams that night.

But this time, they are in the chapel on the grounds of Ashford. Lelouch, who as always is aware he is dreaming, laughs at the setting bitterly. The house of God, eh? The place to repent.

Suzaku is sitting on a bench, his back turned to Lelouch. Dream symbolism is not beyond Lelouch. Suzaku’s back is turned so that Lelouch cannot see his face, because Lelouch cannot now imagine what sort of person Suzaku really is-- that is, was. Used to be. What kind of expression he’d have on his face as Lelouch confronted him about murdering his own father. And Lelouch stands there, naked as the day he was born, bare to the atmosphere and to the truth, unable to hide at all.

“Lelouch,” Suzaku’s voice echoes out. “Do you know why?”

Lelouch walks slowly toward the front of the chapel, waves of putrid decay hitting his nose. Suzaku says-- and the phrase sounds vaguely familiar, like maybe it was on TV or in a book or something his unconscious could draw upon to put into Suzaku’s mouth,

“Do you know why you cannot relent or repent or confess or abstain?”

What an incredibly odd thing for Suzaku to say. Lelouch turns the corner and sits next to Suzaku on the bench. The smell is choking now, Lelouch feels like he has a mouth full of rotting flesh. (It kind of feels like he’s starting to rot as well.) And Suzaku’s face is the face from Shinjuku-- eyes closed, skin waxy, empty and stained on his cheek, abdomen swollen. As Lelouch watches, it only gets worse: that little stain spreads and the entire body begins to puff.

In his dreams he does not vomit, but when he looks down he finds slugs crawling across his bare skin. Somehow his emotions aren’t connecting, though, and this does not bother him. He knows he is dreaming, but he can’t control his actions. Lelouch reaches out his arm, covered in slime, and begins to remove Suzaku’s military armor. He starts slowly at first, then ends up yanking it off of his friend, but the swelling only makes it hard to squeeze the pieces off. As soon as Lelouch yanks the chest plate over Suzaku’s head, something bursts.

In his dream he can see the gases escaping the corpse: they are depicted as thick yellow smog, rolling over Lelouch’s body, touching his face and his chest and his legs and his penis, burning the epidermis like a sunburn. Like chlorine swimming pool water, he doesn’t want to swallow but ends up gulping it down, and his own belly begins to swell, but he continues with his work until Suzaku is as naked as he is, but his eyes, those damn hollows, are still closed.

Lelouch yanks him to the floor of the chapel and lets the light wash over them. Even the light, however, it dimmed by the swirling gases filling the chamber.

Lelouch runs his hands over Suzaku’s colored body, into the cracks of busted skin and through the colonies of maggots. When he draws his fingers from the cracks, they are covered in tiny bits of flesh. It reminds him of those August days, in which the bodies had lain so thick upon the ground that there was no stepping over, only stepping on, except for towards the end of August, in which they was no stepping on and only stepping in. (The blood on their socks was brown, not red.) Inspired, Lelouch dives two hands into the seam of the corpse’s deflated belly and pulls them in opposite directions, until the soft meat tears beneath him--- and Lelouch’s belly is empty from all the vomit and--





--and in the end, Kururugi Suzaku is no more, because Lelouch has eaten him.





One should awake from nightmares of such caliber kicking and screaming, Lelouch thinks, but he wakes up slowly, and his heart isn’t pounding, just thumping naturally. Nunally’s previously cold body has become warm next to his. His body aches after having tried to throw up his spine mere hours before, but he wakes up without the traditional headache. He is not immediately hungry, but his stomach is calm, not so much as a growl to upset the balance.

He moves against his sister, smelling her hair and running his hand over her back. Her beautiful princess skin is pink and healthy. She looks beautiful and golden in the early morning sunlight peeking from the high windows of this tomb.

How could he know, then, of the things to come? In this moment when he is not planning for the future or remembering the past and merely enjoying the present, how could he know?

That right now, Ougi is at the front of a crowd of angry soldiers, shouting, “No! We did what was right, we were ourselves the divine wind that expelled the foreign invaders from our motherland! But we are Knights for justice! We are not invaders ourselves!"

That right now, Schneizel and his selected troops are standing in a strange place, in front of a large door, and the Emperor is backed against the wall.

“This is the end of your reign. But please, rest in peace, Father.”

The first thing he does know besides Nunally is this: C.C. walks in with a phone in her hand-- his cellphone, and it‘s ringing. Lelouch sits up and looks at her in question.

She says, “It’s about time. I’ve been intercepting your calls until now. I thought it better that you did not deal with this issue. However, I can’t ignore it any longer. So, here.” And she holds out the cellphone to him, and on the screen is a caller ID.

Euphemia.